La Pizza Bandida
by Cuda77
Summary: The Danger Close gang goes out to see a movie together and Jaune ends up "sharing" his pizza with Weiss in a rather unconventional and unpleasant way. Part of NobleMETA's YouTube AU


**AN: Salutations readers! This story is a submission I'm making to be part of the YouTube AU as created by NobleMETA. If you haven't read that, I'll get you up to speed. Basically, this is a Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter AU for RWBY. In this AU, Weiss plays the part of Ray Narvaez Jr., Jaune is Gavin Free, Sun is Michael Jones, Velvet is Lindsay Jones/Tuggey and Nora is Barbara Dunkelman. I highly recommend checking out the original story, On My Own, as well since it's a really fun AU.**

**RWBY and all the characters within are the intellectual property of Rooster Teeth Productions, Miles Luna, Kerry Shawcross, Gray Haddock and the late Monty Oum. The YouTube AU is the intellectual property of NobleMETA. I am not being compensate****d in any way for this story and wrote it merely for entertainment purposes.**

* * *

It was Memorial Day and it was a hot, sunny day in Austin, Texas. All the parks and beaches were packed with the citizens celebrating the unofficial beginning of summer. One resident, however, remained locked inside her apartment, shut away from the rest of the world.

Weiss Schnee sat fixated on her Xbox, playing Metro: Last Light. It had been just a couple weeks since the game had been released and she was having a livestream to try and get 1,000 Gamerscore live. She had one final achievement left to get and it was proving to be a really stressful bastard: the Shadow Ranger achievement for completing the game without killing any humans unless forced to. It had been a long, tiring grind but finally, she'd reached the final showdown. With her chat cheering her on, finally the last enemy fell and the end cutscene triggered. Everyone held their breath as it played out until finally, the achievement popped at the bottom of the screen.

"YES! Oh my fucking god, fuck that achievement! You will not conquer me!" Weiss shouted loudly as she pumped her fists and spun around in her chair. "Whew! Man, that was a real bitch to get. But hey, we finally did it everyone! I think I'm just going to cut the stream here so thank you all so much for watching. But before we go, it is time to get someone Weissted."

Weiss paused for a minute as she switched the camera view off of the end credits and brought her webcam view back to full screen. She then started browsing around on the list of people currently broadcasting on Twitch to find a suitable victim. After a few seconds, she located her prey.

"Now, for those of you watching for the first time, getting someone Weissted is something we do here at the end of streams so that you guys can keep watching some quality gamers if you so choose and to hopefully make you fans of some really cool streamers. What happens is I'll tell you to go to a channel currently broadcasting on Twitch and then you all go into their stream and flood the chat with #Weissted to let them know who sent you. Today, we're going to Weisst a very cool guy and one of my favorite speedrunners to watch. He's currently about to try and set a world record for speedrunning Mega Man X for the Super Nintendo. So please, go to Calebhart42's stream and let him know that he just got Weissted. Thanks again for stopping in everyone, have a happy Memorial Day and I will see you all next time!"

With that, Weiss turned off the stream and leaned back in her chair and watched the end credits roll for the final time. She let out a deep sigh of contentment as she arced back fully and stretched her hands above her head. That achievement had been bugging her for days and to finally have it conquered was a humongous relief. Weiss wanted to find some way to celebrate her victory tonight but wasn't coming up with any options for what to do. She really would have liked to do something with Yang but she was busy all day with some corporate party and wouldn't be back until late that night.

As if on cue, her phone started to buzz. Weiss fished it out of her pocket and saw that it was Sun texting her.

"Nice job getting that last achievement! You doing anything the rest of the night?"

Weiss considered the question for a few moments before replying. "I dunno. I was thinking about maybe ordering a pizza and watching Game Grumps or something. Why?"

"Girl, fuck that. Come out to Alamo with us. A bunch of us are going to see the new Star Trek flick. It's supposed to kick ass."

Weiss blinked and re-read the message. Go out? Was Sun high? She finally typed out, "You can't be serious right now."

"Yeah yeah, I know, you don't go out for hardly anything. Come on, one night out of your apartment won't ruin your life. Who knows? You might even have fun."

Weiss didn't even need to think about a reply to that one. "Watching the Grumps is fun. Playing video games is fun."

"And this will be too, fucker. Now either say you'll come out with us or I'll get Coco to rig up a torture device for your desk."

Weiss nearly dropped her phone in shock. Surely Sun wouldn't stoop that low, would he? All that for not going out to see a movie? She decided to test that theory. "You're bluffing."

"Am I Weiss? Am I?"

Weiss glared at her phone. As much as she didn't want to have to actually get dressed and spend money, she didn't want to spend the next week with her desk buzzing or screaming or doing something else annoying. "Fine."

"Awesome. Nora's picking up Jaune so I'll just tell her to get you too. Velvet and I will meet you there at 7:30."

Weiss didn't even bother giving him the courtesy of a reply. Instead, she sent a quick text to Yang to let her know she was going out for the night and might not be back before she got home. Weiss then begrudgingly peeled herself out of her office chair and made her way to the bathroom to grab a quick shower before Nora arrived. As much as she didn't want to go out one bit, at least she'd make herself presentable for her friends. Even though part of her was seriously doubting if Sun should be counted among them at the moment.

* * *

Later that night, Weiss took her seat at a table at the Alamo Drafthouse with Jaune seated at the table with her. Sun and Velvet sat to her right at their own table while Nora was next to Jaune. It was still several minutes before the movie was due to start and so Weiss had her phone out and was playing Tetris.

Just then a waitress appeared and distributed menus to everyone. Weiss paused her game and leafed through the menu, finally deciding on a pepperoni pizza since she'd gotten a craving for one earlier. She quickly scribbled her order on the order form left at their table and resumed her game until the lights in the auditorium dimmed.

As the commercials and previews for upcoming movies was finishing, a server made their way over to Jaune and Weiss's table. Weiss saw the distinct silhouette of a pizza on his tray and Weiss licked her lips hungrily. The server then set the pizza down in front of Jaune and left. Figuring he'd simply made a mistake, Weiss reached over and slid the pizza over to her side. Jaune looked over at her with an affronted look on his face.

"What? This one's mine," Weiss whispered to him. Jaune stared for a second longer and then shrugged, apparently satisfied with that explanation. Weiss then carefully dislodged the first slice from the rest of the pie and took a bite. However, she was not greeted with the familiar taste of pepperoni once she bit in, instead finding a soft crunch of some vegetable.

"_What the hell is this?"_ Weiss thought silently to herself. "_Is that a pepper or something? Was my handwriting really that bad? Well, at least it tastes alright."_ She took another bite and settled back in her chair as the movie began playing. At the end of the slice, Weiss bit into a slice of a tomato and thought, _"Okay, I know I didn't fuck up writing that bad. This probably isn't my pizza after all. Eh, whatever, it's still good. I'll just eat this instead._"

About twenty minutes later, Weiss had eaten another two slices of the mystery pizza when another server approached their table. She then set another tray down in front of Jaune and Weiss could make out the district shape of pepperoni slices on top of it. She froze in her seat as Jaune looked down at the pizza and noticed it wasn't the one he ordered.

"Excuse me, miss?" he whispered loudly to the server as she was about to leave, "Sorry, but this isn't what I ordered."

"Oh, you didn't have the Porky's Pepperoni?"

"No, I had a vegetarian pizza."

The waitress then glanced over at Weiss and she shook her head emphatically, "Nope, not mine either," she said quietly. The waitress looked confused as she picked the pepperoni pizza up off the table and left with it. Weiss hesitantly grabbed another slice of her pizza and took a bite as her mind raced with what to do.

_"Okay, I'm pretty sure this is Jaune's pizza then. Fuck, what am I gonna do? Jaune will flip when he finds out that this is his and I ate it. Maybe they'll just completely forget about it and drop it? That's about all I can hope for I guess."_

Another half hour or so passed by and Weiss started to think that maybe she would get away with it after all. But then she saw the server from earlier coming around and her stomach sank. There wasn't a tray in her hands this time but instead just a piece of notepad paper. She came directly over to Weiss and showed her the slip where Weiss had written down the order for a pepperoni pizza.

"Okay, _someone_ at this table ordered a Porky's Pepperoni pizza," the waitressed hissed at Weiss with barely concealed displeasure. "He's saying it wasn't him and that he ordered a vegetarian pizza. And we know that a vegetarian pizza got delivered here earlier. So who ordered the other pizza then?"

"Ma'am, I swear to you it wasn't me. This is the pizza I ordered right here." Weiss poked Sun on the shoulder and whispered to him, "Sun, did you order the pepperoni pizza? Neither of us here did."

"No, I didn't. Now shut the fuck up, I'm trying to watch this."

Weiss turned back to the waitress and shrugged innocently. She clearly didn't buy Weiss's plea of innocence as her face had lost all traces of patience and instead she simply seethed down at Weiss. After a moment she threw her hands up in frustration and groaned loudly as she stormed away. Weiss let out a sigh of relief as she left. Surely that had to be the end of this, right? Weiss was just about to resume focusing on the movie when Jaune flicked her on her ear

"Ow! What the fuck was that for?" Weiss hissed as she gently rubbed her earlobe.

"You bastard, that _is_ my pizza, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Jaune continued to fume next to her but clearly didn't want to cause any bigger scene than already had happened. Instead, he let out a loud huff and turned back to the screen, muttering under his breath. Weiss broke out in a nervous sweat about the whole situation. Clearly she wasn't going to escape this without trouble. All she could do at this point was to ride it out until the end and hope she didn't end up banned from the theater. I mean yeah, sure, she only ever went out to see like two movies a year but this was still the best place in town to do it.

Weiss was just starting to calm back down when the original food runner from earlier came back and approached Jaune. "Are you waiting for that pizza?" He asked Jaune, pointing down to the one Weiss has been eating that had just two slices left at this point.

"Yes," replied Jaune indignantly.

The food runner brought his hand to his face and pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "She's eating your pizza. I'll go get you another one. We're very sorry for the inconvenience sir."

"Don't worry about it, it wasn't your fault." Weiss could feel Jaune staring daggers at her but she tried her best to ignore the glares from him and the server. When it became clear that Weiss wasn't going to respond at all, the server just let out a long breath through his nose and turned to leave. Weiss chanced a glance at Jaune who chose to flip her off. Weiss gave another little shrug to try and feign innocence but it was clearly too late.

Finally, another half hour passed by and Jaune was brought out a fresh vegetarian pizza from the female server who brought out the ticket earlier. As she set it down, she smiled a huge fake smile at Jaune and told him, "Enjoy _your_ pizza, sir," with a lethal combination of sweetness at him and acidity at Weiss. Jaune simply nodded in thanks and she took her leave for what she hoped would be the final time tonight.

Against her better judgement, Weiss couldn't resist the urge to add one final cherry on top of this situation she created. She picked up the final slice of her pizza and leaned over to Jaune, whispering in his ear, "Don't worry, you will enjoy it. This pizza was so good!" She then punctuated it by taking a huge bite and making noises of approval in Jaune's ear. He simply shook his head defeatedly as he finally began to eat.

Once the movie ended, Weiss reached into her purse to fish out her money. She started counting out the bills and tried to do the math for how much to leave for a tip. Weiss knew she should probably tip extra well for causing such a disaster but in her head, she couldn't ignore how rude the server had been to her. Not to mention that she never was given her pepperoni pizza like she ordered. With a wicked grin on her face, Weiss pulled out a single dollar bill and then found a pen in her purse. She then uncapped the pen and drew a large dick on the dollar right next to Washington's mouth.

Satisfied with her work, Weiss collected her belongings and rose from her seat. She couldn't wait to get home and tell Yang all about this. And hey, Sun had actually been right; she actually did have fun coming out tonight. Although she had a nagging feeling she'd be paying dearly for her mischief for awhile to come.


End file.
